The Economy

I have been contemplating how to face down one of the greatest disasters of our time. I knew someone had to face down the economic implosion. I decided to fix this problem the only way I know how, with wit, humor, and something uniquely "cory."

Early this morning, I walked outside my door for the first time in a month and a half. It was risky leaving behind my canned goods and firewood, but I knew if anyone had a chance of saving the free market it was me. When I got outside I was both dismayed and disheartened. There was not a single zombie. I saw no starving children, actually, they were skateboarding. The worst and most horrifying discovery? People were already putting out Christmas lights, which could only mean one thing... MOST OF THE STREET STILL HAD ELECTRICITY!!!!!
(an image of CNN reporting live from wall street)

This made me particularly mad because I knew there was no way those two Chinese carpet salesmen were going to give me a refund on the high powered generator I purchased from them. I knew I should have been suspicious when they told me there was nothing wrong with my receipt; "It's just written in invisible ink!" they said.
(pictured above: myself bartering with the oriental rug salespeople for generator)

However, I knew that somewhere there were people in desperation. I knew that they must be in peril because obviously the economy is being eaten alive by a half human, half Ronald Reagan, zombie-overlord, who is bent on the destruction of the world. I loaded my shot gun and set out to do damage. I searched the entire country in a little under an hour by utilizing my ability to fly, but no political/figure/ceo/bankshareholder/demonic/zombie-figures emerged from the cornfields below.

But as I was soaring over our majestic nation I saw huge mansions. I also saw homeless, huddled in alleys, over pieces of burning newspaper. In a single moment I came to a fantastic realization.

Perhaps, the biggest problem is not something I can liquidate with a spread-shot but something I can combat with generosity. Even if my family looses their home, their next stop would not be the streets, it would just be another home. Economic crisis means not getting the newest video game console. With so much wealth floating around perhaps it is not that we are all so poor, but that we have a skewed concept of wealth. Maybe the greatest fix for a nation in economic turmoil is a season of giving. Millions of people have lost their jobs, but millions more have them. This holiday season, let us not make the mistake of hording love and generosity. I think it is time to stop waiting for a super powered shotgun wielding hero such as myself, or an historic presidential candidate who promised to save us. Let's do our best to best to save one another.http://www.feedthehungry.org/